And that's when the fight started

Ok so these might be a little long but, they're so funny that I just can't resist.


1. I heard my wife crying in the bathroom. "Honey? What's wrong" I asked. "Oh, George! Just look at me: I'm getting so old! I have more gray in my hair than blonde, I have varicose veins on both of my legs, and I'm just fat and wrinkled all over! I really need someone to say something positive about me right now!" I looked deeply into her eyes and said softly: "Your vision's real good, honey. That's something, isn't it?"
And that's when the fight started....

2. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started....

3. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She was my senior year girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started....

4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

5. My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....